Tag Archives: fitting in

Quelquefois (Armadillo)

Sometimes just sounds better that way, when the usual word is worn out.

I write terrible poetry. Be forewarned

That while the world is in a semi-fixed state I am not.

Not predictable like the tides; there are no little flip books to gauge the shifts in my moods.

I don’t know how others see me; I present a front–does it work?

I have few friends, it’s easier that way, to keep up the charade,

Because one thing I hate above all others is being misunderstood;

The fear of rejection, the fear of loss, the fear of holding on too tight.

Yet there are so few who understand, where it’s safe to be myself.

“Just suck it up, get it together, what’s wrong with you, you look perfectly fine.

There’s no reason for you to be so tired, it’s not as if you’re sick or anything like that.

There are people who have it so much worse than you, you should be grateful for what you have.

How long will all this take?

Do your part, get a job, contribute something to the world, to your upkeep, at least.”

If I stopped eating would I feel less guilty?

If I could sustain myself on the air, the same air I breathe to try to stay calm.

My focus, my attention, in altered states from new medications.

To sleep, and yes, to dream–quite vividly–a side effect, it seems.

I do have a sense of humor, a fairly quick wit; that’s not a charade.

My Kafkaesque armadillo to keep me safe.

(I think it would be difficult to get an armadillo into a straight jacket)

Does it work, my front? I don’t know how others see me,

With my invisible disabilities.

Advertisements

Not Your Kind of People

Sometimes when I get new music there’s a song that particularly strikes me, fits the place I’m at. Feels a little like an anthem of a sort. And it’s nice to know someone else felt the same, enough to write a song I can identify with enough. It is/was a popular song at the time, so obviously it struck a chord, much as Radiohead’s “Creep” did. There are a lot of us, apparently.

This is from the band Garbage, who I’ve always liked. I know someone who could give you a much better history of the band–he’s been to see them more than once in concert and is good with details about that kind of thing. Basically, in my recollection, it was started by a group of people in the music industry, producers, etc., who decided to see if they could start a band. They decided people were going to be cynical of their efforts and were just going to say they were going to sound like garbage, so they took that for their band name. They’re anything but. I suppose one would either like them or not, I don’t know if I’ve ever heard anyone say they “sort of” like them.

They don’t pander. They mock. They write ballads. They go heavy on the guitars. And they sound like themselves. Granted, I’m not exposed to a whole world of music, but I don’t often think, “Gee, that band sounds like Garbage,” which sounds funny. I’m sure there are some, I just don’t who they are. Sort of a heavier retro-ish band.

“Not Your Kind of People” is off their 2012 album, Not Your Kind of People. It’s on sale at Amazon for $5.99 right now, a really good deal.

Live version in Taipai–sometimes hard to understand
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUnVnR56d3M&w=560&h=315

Album version–Album Cover–You can go do other things
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KckCsw_JyJI&w=560&h=315