This is based on my observation and perception. I have not done vast research as I normally would. It is something I mentioned in a post quite a while ago and then didn’t really think about until a couple of thoughts collided. The first was all the press given to bakeries refusing to make cakes for same sex weddings. The second was a visit to the Facebook page The Republican War on Women. Okay, wait, three. The third was watching Panti Noble’s Call at the Abbey Theatre and thinking about oppression. All right, a fourth as well; how much effort I have spent arguing for, writing letters for, advocating for, the LBGT community, and against Putin’s policies in Russia.
All of this bubbled around together a little for a while. I remembered reading an article about how more straight women allies advocate for gay men than some gay men do at times, and feeling a little ticked off about that at the time. Then another article simply asking, straight women have advocated for gay men for their rights, where are they in terms of advocating for our rights? Then I started to think about oppression, and what a huge deal has been made over the past congressional year over gay marriage, gay rights, gay people being refused service. I have written congresspeople about using this issue as a way to avoid other issues such as the economy, unemployment, the state of our schools. Yet I have been ignoring the one thing that is one of the most important things of all, to me. My rights to what happens to my body. Yes, that makes me feel oppressed, and it pisses me off, too. I’ve been so distracted fighting for the rights of other people, I haven’t been paying enough attention to my own: as states pass rights for same sex marriage, my rights to what I can and can’t do with my own body are being stripped away. How’s that for inequality for you?
While same sex couples argue over the right to have a bakery make a cake for them, women have finally gotten the right to buy the morning after pill without a prescription at a pharmacy. For those who don’t know, gay men included, this is a marvelous thing for women who, for any reason–condom failure, forgetting to use birth control, maybe even a rape they didn’t report, but for whatever reason that is none of that damn pharmacist’s business–want to take this pill because it pretty much, almost 99% guarantees you won’t get pregnant, that pharmacist, who is a practitioner of, one could say, a medical profession, can decide, if he or she wants, not to sell it to you because of their religious beliefs.
Now, I’m sorry, but when you balance a cake vs. a pill that could alter the course of a woman’s life by keeping her from getting pregnant, I’m with the woman. That woman could be me. It could also, unfortunately, be a woman who is lesbian. It could be a 16 year old girl. So go to another pharmacy, says the voice of the person who hasn’t had to go through the humiliation of having your sex life judged by some holier-than-thou professional. You think it’s just gay people who get their sex life judged? It’s not.
But let’s think about the incredible hypocrisy here for just a second. That pharmacist that won’t sell you a pill because you are killing a life (and honestly, if there’s anything there at the moment, its a few cells forming a blob) will be the same pro-lifer yelling at you for getting an abortion two months later because they wouldn’t sell you the pill. The pill that would have acted so soon after the fact there really wouldn’t have been time for anything to have happened “life-wise,” it would simply have kept you from getting pregnant in the first place, negating the whole need for an abortion.
The right to make sure that pharmacists always sell that pill is a little more important than a cake, I’m sorry. I will always fall on that side. Pro-lifers want women to have the children, but will they take them when they’re born? No. They cut the money for WIC to make sure the kids can eat right until they’re at least three. They cut the money for the programs to take care of the children so the mother can work. They don’t question whether the woman wants children, whether she’d make a good mother, whether there’s a father involved for their perfect idea of a little American family. They want to make the woman have the baby, and then push her into poverty because all they care about is that the baby lives, that’s all.
And what choice does the woman have in this, that’s being taken away state by state, by rich white men in suits who couldn’t find their way around a woman’s anatomy to save their lives? And those are the married ones. None. Her body, apparently, doesn’t belong to her. Her reproductive system belongs to the State and then, BAM, after 50 apparently women no longer have health care needs.
What I want to know is, woman have been advocating for equal rights with fervor for the LGBT community. Are you advocating for us? By this I mostly mean the generations younger than mine (the 1960s-1970s). Gay men around my age or older seem to have a different sense of responsibility. Again, just my observation. Yes, love is love, I believe that with all my heart. But equality is equality, and that means equal rights for everyone. Jesus God (did I forget a comma?) has no place in the hands of the religious self-righteous to force into the shape they want solely to interfere in the lives of groups they choose to harass because the RS-R are mean-spirited, their heads aren’t screwed on quite right, their shoes are two tight, and their hearts are…well, I’m sure their are hearts there somewhere. Anatomically they have to be.
My beliefs haven’t changed. It is simply that some things on their own are heinous, and still are. But when compared to other, more heinous things, they pale a little in comparison. The thing is, the HUGE thing is, is that it is the same people who are doing this; the same religious fanatics who want to call members of the LGBT community demons and pedophiles are the same ones who want to call women who want control over what happens to them (what a concept) whores and sluts. For being such pious people, they really do have quite the vocabulary, don’t they? I think they’ve been reading a few too many of the hardcore Urban Paranormal Romances. When they start talking about Azagoth and his minions then we know we’re in trouble.
Just remember that others helped get the LGBT community where it is, and when you see yet another story about whether Jesus can tell a store owner whether or not he or she can discriminate in selling a wedding cake, or whatever it may be, think about the morning after pill and that pharmacists do the exact same thing, not because of sexual orientation, but simply because women happen to be the gender who gets pregnant, and other people think they have the right to control our lives because of that. And if you’re gay and think that doesn’t effect you, think again. Do you have a sister, a female friend, a female coworker, a mother? Yes, moms do still have sex. Sorry, as icky as it is to contemplate.
While states are being added to the map of same-sex marriage friendly, women are losing ground. It makes me angry. Angry that I wasn’t paying closer attention. Angry about the apathy in the groups I advocate for in political issues. Angry with friends who want to make their safe little comfort bubbles and meditate. Angry that this couldn’t have been done, in my opinion, the right way. If a law had been passed making same-sex marriage legal in all states, across the board (which probably never would have happened, but still, I can dream in my ideal world–we are supposed to be the United States, after all), and the same for women’s rights–how much time, effort, and money have been spent on things that have no place in court? In Congress? These are basic human rights. I’m not rich, not male, don’t wear fancy suits or have the power to shut down the government because gods forbid everyone should have healthcare. I don’t really care what people think of it. It’s the first real attempt someone has made at universal healthcare, which is so f*cked up in this country anyway the whole system needs to rebuilt, but that’s a different, lengthy post.
And here’s another thought. Some people seem to be making LGBT friendly business directories. Why not start bakeries who specialize in wedding cakes for same sex weddings, and be the ones to show they can be the most mature. Don’t discriminate. Well, unless it’s obviously provocation. But you get the idea. The other bakeries will regret the business they’ll lose, and in some cases better than equal, a step above, is the only way to pull people up to your standards. Make the standards. Set the new bar. If other people won’t do it for you, do it for yourself, only better. I would buy a cake there, without a doubt.
A great name for a bakery would be Love is Love. Or, I suppose, if you wanted to thumb your nose a little, Not All Cakes are Equal. Seriously–do a search on cakes and fondant, add a few words of your choice and see what you come up with. I’ve never tried to make anything with fondant, but I think it must be the wonder of all wonders when it comes to cake making. Is there anything it can’t do? And look at some of the cake toppers–they are made with such love and care. Why have a second rate baker who doesn’t want to make a cake in the first place make one when there are people who can make things like those! One even includes the dogs! I like bakeries, and I’m getting off the subject–and there’s a whole portion of the population out there who have to have things gluten-free; if I had the talent, this is something I would seriously consider. All right. My getting goofy over cakes changes nothing about how I feel about this issue. There are alternatives to closed-minded, small people.
For women, this clamping down on rights is dangerous and possibly deadly, if women are forced to resort to back alley abortions: that’s what this means:
Women should never have to resort to this again. If you have questions about it, look it up on Wiki; I’d rather not discuss it here.
But let’s try to help each other. There are too many important things going on for all of us. Human rights are equal rights. All of us are due some big changes.
I apologize sincerely for any errors. It’s been a long day and my eyes are tired.