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Sloth Bears Now Extinct in Bangladesh

Asia Sloth Bear Photograph by Zigmund Leszczynski Animals Animals-Earth Scenes

Asia Sloth Bear
Photograph by Zigmund Leszczynski
Animals Animals-Earth Scenes

Sloth Bears Confirmed Extinct in Bangladesh
By John R. Platt | October 4, 2014 |

John R. Platt has written an excellent blog on this, found at the above link.

I suppose some, if not many, people are wondering why I even posted about this with everything else going on in the world. Because it matters. These things matter. Humans are so intent on destroying each other they sometimes forget there is a whole other world out there that we are also killing off, whether it be through poaching, deforestation, poisoning of habitat, over-hunting, sport-killing, the list goes on. It’s not a happy subject. But neither is the world without Sloth Bears, or the thousands upon thousands of species we’ve already eliminated.

What are we fighting for if we’re killing all the things that make the world a wondrous place to be, and blasting the rest of it to pieces? Is this our legacy for our children? Gods know I’m no military strategist, but what would have happened if the US and others involved now had intervened in Syria when it was a humanitarian crisis instead of waiting until it became a terrorist military action? In the meantime, it makes a nice distraction from the Ukraine and Russia, where yes, things are still happening. People are still being killed there as well. Ukrainians, by the not-pro-Russian (supported) rebels. And bears enter into it again.

So yes, it matters. It all matters. With every person who dies, a little bit of culture dies. Something maybe only that person knew and hadn’t told anyone else yet. I’ll do it tomorrow. Because there should have been a tomorrow.

Celebrities of the frame of mind it is safe to keep bare pictures of themselves on the internet, anywhere, and think they are safe, don’t matter. Does reaching celebrity status give them special internet privileges? Safeties and guarantees? Did they not take Computers 101? Nothing you put on the internet is safe, ever. When in doubt, don’t. It doesn’t matter if it’s your “own, private account.” I’m sure that’s what JP Morgan thought about the 76 million records that were compromised as well. As well as all the other major corporations that have been hacked. Nothing is unhackable. I couldn’t hack my way out of a paper bag, except possibly with a pair of scissors, but there are some wicked smart computer people out there, some of them probably still in grade school. Is there something about becoming suddenly famous that makes one want to strip and snap away? If so, I know with absolute certainty that I am absolutely nowhere near famous, because I’ve never had the urge.

People, keep your nude photos of Asian Sloth Bears on a flash drive, or something. Although I’ve put one in my post. I don’t think he’s ashamed. And someday, the cats are going to get us back.

And selfies. What exactly do they represent? The apex of narcissism? Slices into daily life? The equivalent of an “I just went to the gym!” post on Facebook? I’m here, wish you were too, or, on the other hand, I’m here, you’re not, ha ha ha. Obviously I’m a very socially awkward person. It makes one wonder what animals think we’re doing. A friend was at the zoo and they reached the Red Pandas. He knows I adore Red Pandas and took a picture of one, which I love.

"Oh, please drop the camera, please please please please......"

“Oh, please drop the camera, please please please please……”

I can see this little guy, camera strap around his neck, completely anthropomorphized by me and walking around on his or her hind legs making a photo documentary for an undercover animal photojournalism magazine, recording into a small voice activated recorder stashed from another unfortunate visitor’s loss.

One of the most tragic aspects of extinction and endangerment, and all the other levels of how at-risk an animal is, to me, the fact that many of them closest to leaving the wild for good have only one real predator: man. Also man’s own biggest predator.

But I’d just like to mention that the first victim of Ebola in the United States died today. Thomas Eric Duncan.

Ebola is stronger than any army, stronger than ISIS, than Israel, than Palestine, the Ukraine, than Russia. Look at epidemiologists’ reports, their forecasts. Ebola is the leveler, it doesn’t care about your race, your income, your religion. This is what governments need to be paying attention to, spending their money on. Containing and treating this epidemic before it becomes a global one. Remember that, Congress, when you think back on how you slashed aid in half to assist with ebola.

And no, I don’t think ebola has anything to do with “God being angry.” It sounds ridiculous to say, but I think these things just happen when all of the circumstances line up correctly–whether it be hygiene, a mixture of microbes heating to a certain temperature in just the right environment, whatever the case may be, and it became ebola, “living” somewhere fruit foxes could come into contact with it.

What is my point with all of this? Governments pick and choose their battles, and it’s easy to see which ones they picked and which ones they didn’t. For the US, screening for Ebola at 5 airports. Of how many? In Spain, killing the dog of the woman infected with Ebola there. Why not keep it in quarantine and see if it became ill? The US is perfectly prepared for the threat of Ebola, as a hospital in Dallas sends the man home infected with it, who returns in two days. Oh, yes, we’re truly and honestly prepared. But all those airstrikes will really make a difference. The mind boggles sometimes. One thing where man is, essentially, prey, and it’s being relegated to second string; it’s hard to juggle priorities when you can’t juggle.

I just hope the animals whose populations we’ve decimated can’t contract it. That would be justice.





Peridot Dragon Garnet eye


FIFA–Russia 2018

What is FIFA thinking? Have any of their members watched or read the news? Here are some quotes of what FIFA are saying, as read in the BBC News Online. Let me back up: they need to have something to respond to, in this case the deputy prime minister of the UK:    

“Russia should lose the right to host the 2018 World Cup as part of tougher sanctions following the plane crash in eastern Ukraine, Nick Clegg has said. The UK deputy prime minister told the Sunday Times it was “unthinkable” that Russia should host the football event.” 

FIFA’s response?

“World football governing body Fifa has rejected calls to change the 2018 host. Responding after some German politicians also called for Russia to be boycotted, Fifa said the 2018 tournament could be a “force for good”.

and also:

“Fifa said the World Cup could be a “powerful catalyst for constructive dialogue between people and governments, helping to bring positive social developments.”

“Fifa believes this will be the case for the 2018 Fifa World Cup in Russia,” it added.”

Mr. Clegg may be voicing what others feel but are afraid to say, as is often the case with bullies:

He [Putin] can’t constantly… push the patience of the international community beyond breaking point, destabilise a neighbouring country, protect these armed separatists in the east of Ukraine and still have the privilege and honour of receiving all the accolades in 2018 for being the host nation of the World Cup.”

He added: “You can’t have this – the beautiful game marred by the ugly aggression of Russia on the Russian-Ukrainian border.”

Does this seem even slightly familiar to anyone? At all? [clue: 2014 Winter Olympics] Given what has happened since then, what a “force for good…[and] powerful catalyst for constructive dialogue between people and governments, helping to bring positive social developments” they were, does that make FIFA think twice? Don’t force people to make a decision to boycott, make a responsible decision, unlike the International Olympic Committee, and move the 2018 World Cup now.

In fact, given all the kerfuffle, I think an interesting place to hold it would be the United States, somewhere along the West Coast. The biggest cities are Seattle, San Francisco, Los Angeles, and San Diego. Other cities might jump at the chance. There are plenty of people here who play and watch, contrary to some pseudo-journalists’ reports.

The World Interpreted through Alice in Wonderland


Consulting the Oracle


First Meeting

Many Don’t Arrive


A Meeting is Held

Alice is voted unanimously as Ambassador


Waiting to meet the Red Queen

(With trepidation )


A productive discussion did not seem in the cards


And, in fact, became quite hostile.


Things on the home front were not much better.


With a heavy heart, Alice helped prepare her friends for battle with what little she could find.


Alice listened to the Mock Turtle’s prophecies of the outcome of the war.

    4E9FC6FE-AC4F-4C99-AF28-2985270D3379.png Is the Mock Turtle going to be right?

Mr. Putin, speaker with two faces?

Mr. Netenyahu, regretful of civilian deaths?


Who will take responsibility for their actions?

Who will pretend to paint the roses red with the blood of the fallen?


Why Does No One Tell Israel No?

"Why?" Anne Frank

Anne Frank

Don’t get me wrong, I am not anti-Semitic. Neither am I pro-Genocide. But as the body count rises steadily in Gaza, whole families wiped out with one missile, I wonder if I aided and abetted, if any of my tax dollars went into the manufacture of the arms we’ve sold to Israel over the years. Did I pay a penny or two? A finger or an arm? A whole life? What is that worth these days, or does that depend on what country you live in and who you’re killed by? Does anyone ever stop to think of that? How many people are killed by American made weapons? Strangely, it hadn’t occurred to me until I was asking my boyfriend in tears why no one is telling Israel to stop this genocide of the Palestinians, why does everyone tip-toe around them? I think it was because it has all been such a fuzzy mess to me, the whole war over there in the Middle East (not to mention the other ones) I suddenly realized, “Wait a minute, but they’re Jewish, why are they trying to kill off a different group of people?”

If I have my math about right, World War II ended roughly, in the European Theatre, sixty five to seventy years ago, and resulted in the deaths of approximately 6 million Jews–roughly 2/3 the Jewish population of Europe. And there are people that deny the Holocaust ever existed. How, I have no idea. But that’s not what this is about. This is about a country and people who are using their religion the same way their religion was used against them, and seem to have no problem with it. A country no one questions. A country young men leave America go to be “lone wolf fighters” for on the side of Israel to honor their ancestry. That was what started me on this rant tonight, a quote from one of the “lone wolf fighters.” I don’t mean any disrespect to anyone, I just really don’t understand. How could one group of people who have suffered so much at the hands of another turn around and do it to other people? How? The UN is finally speaking out, but it’s not enough.

I think Anne Frank would be wondering the same thing if she had survived Auschwitz and was still alive now. I read her diary at the same age she wrote it. In many ways she and I were the same. In many ways I thought she was much wiser than I was. One girl in my class couldn’t read it because it gave her nightmares. I have always thought it so tragic that Anne Frank died so close to the end of the war, days within their camp being liberated. Again, why?

I thought once I could change the world. That was when I was naive and didn’t realize the gargantuan web the troubles of the world were contained within, the threads snarled and tangled beyond comprehension into some facsimile of a Gordian knot. How there are bullies in the world just like bullies in school, and how everyone tip-toes around them as well. Only the stakes are higher and dead is “for reals.” All those children killed will never grow up, never fall in love, never have families, never contribute to the world. One of them, several of them, could have had an answer to some of the world’s pressing problems. One of them could have saved all of us. But we’ll never know now. Because they’re dead. For reals.

I considered abandoning this post, but then there was a breaking news flash that an Israeli missile had hit a UN run school also being used as a shelter. That brings the total, according to BBC News, to 750 Palestinian deaths and 33 Israeli deaths. And just to reiterate, it was a UN facility.

Enough is enough, Mr. Netenyahu. Does “regretting the civilian deaths” but blaming the Hamas help you sleep better at night? I don’t support extremists of any kind. But I support the Palestinians right to live.

There are some truths I believe in:

Germany today is not responsible for killing the Jews in concentration camps. People need to let that go. Forgiveness is the path to healing.

America today is not responsible for what happened with Native Americans or Slaves. I’m very, very sorry it happened, but I didn’t do it. I hope I’m more enlightened than those who did. I try to help advocate for those who need help advocating from themselves. I try to realize when the person who needs help being advocated for is me. I know how hard that is.

And there are some things (well, many things) I question:

Why are there Neo-Nazi groups popping up? Do you realize what you’re emulating is Facism at its most horrible, the perpetrators of the worst Holocaust in modern history, the worst qualities of human beings as a whole, and you think that’s “cool?” Wow. I can’t even name how many ways that’s so messed up.

Why are people letting religion take over Congress? Once upon a time, and I believe it still does, our Constitution separated the two, for very good reason. Religion and politics shouldn’t mix. Religion messes things up. There are too many religions, too many “chosen” people, too many “our God says,” just too many.

Are we ever going to learn from history, from our mistakes? Anne Frank hoped so. She was a very smart young woman, very thoughtful. Her diary did change the world. She had hopes and dreams, just like the young Palestinian teens her age who have been killed. Because at heart we’re all the same.

Anne Frank Picture



Diary 2











pictureI live in a crazy time










Mila d'Opiz Australiz

Mila d’Opiz Australiz

























who has inflicted this upon us?monsters




















Anne Frank improve world owns the rights to this owns the rights to this



July 17th–UN Day of International Criminal Justice

From the UN:

17 July is the Day of International Criminal Justice.

The Day marks the anniversary of the adoption of the Rome Statute on 17 July 1998, the founding treaty of the International Criminal Court, which seeks to protect people from genocide, crimes against humanity, war crimes and the crime of aggression.

The Day unites all those who wish to support justice, promote victims’ rights, and help prevent crimes that threaten the peace, security and well-being of the world.


So what happens?


Israel starts Gaza ground offensive

Israel starts Gaza ground offensive



All 295 passengers and crew are believed dead as a Malaysian airliner crashes in the east Ukraine conflict zone, amid claims of a missile attack.

All 295 passengers and crew are believed dead as a Malaysian airliner crashes in the east Ukraine conflict zone, amid claims of a missile attack.


This happened earlier in the month but just made the news today.

India six-year-old 'raped in Bangalore school by staff members'

India six-year-old ‘raped in Bangalore school by staff members’


The events speak for themselves.


Three Candles

Toll on Civilians in the Gaza Strip: Children

From: The Washington Post, By Ishaan Tharoor, July 10 at 12:30 PM

Names in Bold are the Names of Children

1. Mohammed Sha’aban, 24, was killed in a bombing of his car in Gaza City.
2. Ahmad Sha’aban, 30, died in the same bombing.
3. Khadir al-Bashiliki, 45, died in the same bombing.
4. Rashad Yaseen, 27, was killed in a bombing of the Nusseirat refugee camp in central Gaza.
5. Riad Mohammed Kawareh, 50, was killed in a bombing of his family’s home in Khan Younis.
6. Seraj Ayad Abed al-A’al, 8, was wounded in the same bombing and succumbed to his injuries Tuesday evening.
7. Mohammed Ayman Ashour, 15, died in the same bombing.
8. Bakr Mohammed Joudah, 22, died in the same bombing.
9. Ammar Mohammed Joudah, 26, died in the same bombing.
10. Hussein Yousef Kawareh, 13, died in the same bombing.
11. Mohammed Ibrahim Kawareh, 50, died in the same bombing.
12. Bassim Salim Kawareh, 10, died in the same bombing.
13. Mousa Habib, 16, from Gaza City’s al-Shujaiyah neighborhood, was killed along with his 22-year old cousin while the pair were riding a motorcycle.
14. Mohammed Habib, 22, was killed with Mousa Habib.
15. Sakr Aysh al-Ajouri, 22, was killed in an attack on Jabalya, in northern Gaza.
16. Ahmad Na’el Mehdi, 16, from Gaza City’s Sheikh Radwan neighborhood, was killed in a bombing that wounded two of his friends.
17. Hafiz Mohammed Hamad, 30, an Islamic Jihad commander, was killed in a bombing of his home in Beit Hanoun, along with five of his family members.
18. Ibrahim Mohammed Hamad, 26, died in the same bombing.
19. Mehdi Mohammed Hamad, 46, died in the same bombing.
20. Fawzia Khalil Hamad, 62, died in the same bombing.
21. Dunia Mehdi Hamad, 16, died in the same bombing.
22. Suha Hamad, 25, died in the same bombing.
23. Suleiman Salman Abu Soaween, 22
24. Abdelhadi Jamaat al-Sufi, 24, was killed in a bombing near the Rafah crossing.
25. Naifeh Farjallah, 80, was killed in an airstrike on the town of Moghraqa, southwest of Gaza City.
26. Abdelnasser Abu Kweek, 60, was killed in the bombing of Gaza’s central governorate.
27. Khaled Abu Kweek, 31, Abdelnasser Abu Kweek’s son, was killed in the same bombing.
28. Amir Areef, 13, died in a bombing in Sha’af.
29. Mohammed Malkiyeh, 1½ years old, died in a bombing.
30. Amniyeh Malkiyeh, 27, Mohammed Malkiyeh’s mother, died in the same bombing.
31. Hatem Abu Salem, 28, died in the same bombing.
32. Mohammed Khaled al-Nimri, 22
33. Sahar Hamdan, 40, died in the bombing of her home in Beit Hanoun.
34. Ibrahim Masri, 14, Sahar Hamdan’s son, was killed in the same bombing.
35. Unknown
36. Sumoud al-Nawasra, a mother, was killed in a bombing along with her two children.
37. Mohammed Khalaf al-Nawasra, 4, arrived at the hospital “in shreds.”
38. Nidal Khalaf al-Nawasra, a child of unreported age, died along with Mohammed and Sumoud.
39. Salah Awwad al-Nawasra, was killed in the same bombing. His body was found under the rubble of the house.
40. Amal Youssef Abdel Ghafour
41. Ranim Jawde Abdel Ghafour, a young girl
42. Rashid al-Kafarneh, 30, was killed when the motorcycle he was riding was bombed.
43. Ibrahim Daoud al-Balawi, 24
44. Abdelrahman Jamal al-Zamli, 22
45. Ibrahim Ahmad Abideen, 42
46. Mustafa Abu Mar, 20
47. Khalid Abu Mar, 23
48. Mazen Farj al-Jarbah, 30
49. Marwan Slim, 27
50. Hani Saleh Hamad, 57, was killed in a bombing in Beit Hanoun along with his son Ibrahim.
51. Ibrahim Hamad, 20, was killed in the same bombing.
52. Salima Hassan Musallim al-Arja, 60, was killed in a bombing in Rafah that wounded five others.
53. Maryam Atieh Muhammad al-Arja, 11, was killed in the same bombing.
54. Hamad Shahab, 27
55. Ibrahim Khalil Qanun, 24, was killed in a bombing of Khan Younis.
56. Muhammad Khalil Qanun, 26, was killed in the same attack.
57. Hamdi Badieh Sawali, 33, was killed in the same attack.
58. Ahmad Sawali, 28, was killed in the same attack.
59. Suleiman al-Astal, 55
60. Muhammad al-Aqqad, 24
61. Ra’ed Shalat, 37, was killed in a bombing that wounded 6 others.
62. Asma Mahmoud al-Hajj was killed in a bombing in Khan Younis that killed eight members of the same family and wounded 16 other people.
63. Basmah Abdelfattah al-Hajj, 57, was wounded in the bombing and succumbed to her injuries shortly afterwards.
64. Mahmoud Lutfi al-Hajj, 58, died in the same bombing.
65. Tarek Sa’ad al-Hajj died in the same bombing.
66. Sa’ad Mahmoud al-Hajj died in the same bombing.
67. Najla Mahmoud al-Hajj died in the same bombing.
68. Fatima al-Hajj died in the same bombing.
69. Omar al-Hajj died in the same bombing.
70. Ahmad Salim al-Astal was killed in the bombing of a beach house in Khan Younis that critically wounded more than 15 people.
71. Mousa Mohammed was killed in the same bombing. The two bodies were recovered four hours after the bombing.
72. Ra’ed al-Zawareh, 33, succumbed to his wounds and died. The location of his death was unreported.
73. Baha’ Abu al-Leil, 35, was killed in a bombing.
74. Salim Qandil, 27, was killed in the same bombing.
75. Omar al-Fyumi, 30, was killed in the same bombing.
76. Abdullah Ramadan Abu Ghazzal, 5, was killed in a bombing in Beit Lahiya.
77. Ismail Hassan Abu Jamah, 19, was killed in a bombing of Khan Younis that injured two children, one critically.
78. Yasmin Mohammed al-Mutawwaq, 4 was killed in a bombing.
79. Mahmoud Wulud was killed in a bombing of a civilian vehicle in northern Gaza. His remains were taken to Kamal Adwan Hospital in Jabaliya.
80. Hazem Balousha was killed in the same bombing. His remains are at Kamal Adwan Hospital.
81. Alaa Abdelnabi was killed in the same bombing. His remains are at Kamal Adwan Hospital.
82. Ahmad Zaher Hamdan, 22, died of injuries sustained in northern Gaza.
83. Mohammed Kamal al-Kahlout
Ishaan Tharoor writes about foreign affairs for The Washington Post. He previously was a Senior Editor at TIME, based first in Hong Kong and later in New York.


Palestinian Poppy


Ann Coulter: Where Have I Been all this Time?

Truly, though. Where have I been? How could I have missed such an icon of right-wing no lo sé, values? Such a paragon of modestia virtue, and, why, just as sweet as a good old slice of American pie de apple.

She clerked for a Fulbright scholar who studied in London. She worked for Senator Spencer Abraham, the only Arab American in Congress. She has been compared to Clare Boothe Luce, one of her self-proclaimed idols, in terms of her satirical style. Only, from what I read of Clare Boothe Luce, she said what she did with class and wit, however scathingly. She was also the Ambassador to Italy. Italy! By all means, they…they play soccer in Italy! Of course, another major difference between the two is that Clare Boothe Luce actually travelled–left the country–to see the places she was writing about.

Clare Boothe Luce, from Wikipedia

Another branch of Luce’s literary career was that of war journalism. Europe in the Spring was the result of a four-month tour of Britain, Belgium, Holland, Italy, and France in 1939–1940 as a correspondent for Life magazine. She described the widening battleground of World War II as “a world where men have decided to die together because they are unable to find a way to live together.”[19] In 1941, Luce and her husband toured China and reported on the status of the country and its war with Japan. Her profile of General Douglas Macarthur was on the cover of “Life” on December 8, 1941, the day after the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor. After the United States entered the war, Luce toured military installations in Africa, India, China, and Burma, compiling a further series of reports for Life. She published interviews with General Harold Alexander, commander of British troops in the Middle East, Chiang Kai-ShekJawaharlal Nehru, and General Stilwell, commander of American troops in the China-Burma-India theater.[19] Her lifelong instinct for being in the right place at the right time, and easy access to key commanders made Clare Boothe Luce an influential figure on both sides of the Atlantic. She endured bombing raids and other dangers in Europe and the Far East. She did not hesitate to criticize the unwarlike lifestyle of General Sir Claude Auchinleck‘s Middle East Command in language that recalled the barbs of her best playwriting. One draft article for Life, noting that the general lived far from the Egyptian front in a houseboat, and mocking RAF pilots as “flying fairies”, was discovered by British Customs when she passed through Trinidad in April, 1942. It caused such Allied consternation that she briefly faced house arrest.[20] Coincidentally or not, Auchinleck was fired a few months later by Winston Churchill. Her varied experiences in all the major war theaters qualified her for a seat the following year on the House Military Affairs Committee.

Her voting record was generally more moderate than was expected by her GOP backers. To help the nation meet its rising war costs, she advocated “taxing the rich almost to the point of constitutional confiscation.”[24] She called for repeal of the Chinese Exclusion Act, comparing its “doctrine of race theology” to Adolf Hitler’s,[25] advocated aid for war victims abroad, and sided with the administration on issues such as infant-care and maternity appropriations for the wives of enlisted men. Nevertheless, President Roosevelt took a dislike to Representative Luce, and campaigned in 1944 to prevent her reelection, publicly calling her “a sharp-tongued glamor girl of forty.” [26] She gave as good as she got, accusing Roosevelt of being “the only American president who ever lied us into a war because he did not have the political courage to lead us into it.”[27]

During her second term, Luce was instrumental in the creation of the Atomic Energy Commission[28] and, during the course of two tours of Allied battlefronts in Europe, a campaigner for more support of what she considered to be America’s forgotten army in Italy. She was present at the liberation of several Nazi concentration camps in April, 1945, and after V-E Day began warning against the rise of international Communism as another form of totalitarianism, likely to lead to World War III.[21] In 1946, she was the co-author of the Luce-Celler Act of 1946, which increased the numbers of Indians and Filipinos permitted to immigrate to the US (previously limited to only 100 per year), and allowed them ultimately to become naturalized citizens.”

And this is the woman Ann Coulter idolizes? Why not act a little more like her? Jeesh, this is a woman I would possibly like. She had hutzpah.

What does Ann Coulter do? She’s unapologetic. She likes to “stir up the pot.” She  does not “pretend to be impartial or balanced, as broadcasters do,” and in the process ends up sounding like an imbalanced, intolerant, bigot with a heart five sizes too small. Or she may be cold-blooded like a reptilian species. She is the brash voice of part of what is wrong with this country, where “unapologetic” is a good thing, “no” really means “yes,” and “shoot first ask questions later,” is the new motto. All that matters is that this soccer fetish doesn’t catch on in the United States of America. Which makes me wonder, what does consist of a fetish in her book? It’s not like I’m going to read any of them. I think perhaps, as a service to her right-wing proclivities, she perhaps needs a good tea-bagging.

Now, Clare Boothe Luce I would be more interested in having tea with. Even if she was a Republican, she had a heart.

Wisteria Garden in Japan from

Wisteria Garden in Japan

Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead.

–Oscar Wilde



From 95.7 KJR:

Lily and Maddison

Lily and Maddison

Quelquefois (Armadillo)

Sometimes just sounds better that way, when the usual word is worn out.

I write terrible poetry. Be forewarned

That while the world is in a semi-fixed state I am not.

Not predictable like the tides; there are no little flip books to gauge the shifts in my moods.

I don’t know how others see me; I present a front–does it work?

I have few friends, it’s easier that way, to keep up the charade,

Because one thing I hate above all others is being misunderstood;

The fear of rejection, the fear of loss, the fear of holding on too tight.

Yet there are so few who understand, where it’s safe to be myself.

“Just suck it up, get it together, what’s wrong with you, you look perfectly fine.

There’s no reason for you to be so tired, it’s not as if you’re sick or anything like that.

There are people who have it so much worse than you, you should be grateful for what you have.

How long will all this take?

Do your part, get a job, contribute something to the world, to your upkeep, at least.”

If I stopped eating would I feel less guilty?

If I could sustain myself on the air, the same air I breathe to try to stay calm.

My focus, my attention, in altered states from new medications.

To sleep, and yes, to dream–quite vividly–a side effect, it seems.

I do have a sense of humor, a fairly quick wit; that’s not a charade.

My Kafkaesque armadillo to keep me safe.

(I think it would be difficult to get an armadillo into a straight jacket)

Does it work, my front? I don’t know how others see me,

With my invisible disabilities.